Balance is Vital

I've written about the importance of balance several times over the years and, not surprisingly, the topic keeps showing up in divorce mediation when my clients are discussing finances and, more importantly, when they're talking about co-parenting. Do they take a loan against the 401k or borrow from the house's equity? Does the mom allow unlimited screen time while the dad has restrictions?

In many of the significant aspects of life, we sometimes struggle to balance obligations and desires, and needs versus wants. Experts espouse the idealistic theory that we should love people and use things. Sometimes that's easier said than done. We can love our teenagers, but when their extra-curricular activities interfere with our monthly book club, it's hard to maintain our balance. We can love our new iPad Air, but when the credit card bill arrives, do we acknowledge a case of buyer's remorse?

I mean, we're human. There are going to be times when we lose our balance. Extenuating circumstances can interfere with our ability to logically reason out our feelings. Sometimes we simply react. And then what? Have we irrevocably committed ourselves to a choice that might not have been made had we taken the time to think it through? Or do we allow ourselves (and others) a do-over?

What Balance Actually Looks Like

Achieving balance to me means that my life is calm. It means keeping the internal stuff (what's going on in my heart, in my mind, and with my health) on par with the external stuff (what's going on with my business, my family, and my social life). Easier said than done. And sometimes I lose my balance.

Five Steps to Maintain the Balance

So, how do we maintain the balance? After much thought, trial, and error, I've designed a plan that can be implemented in five easy (???) steps.

Step 1: Understand what caused us to lose balance. (It doesn't matter whose fault it is.)

Step 2: Think about what to do differently next time. (We all have the starring role in our own lives.)

Step 3: Prepare for the possibility that things might happen to interfere with our vision. (Even those things that are totally out of our control.)

Step 4: Make a plan. Write it down. Share it with others who might be impacted. (Written and verbal communication are essential.)

Step 5: Maintain your connections. Understand who's got your back and treat them accordingly. (Value those who value you.)

Balance isn't a destination we arrive at once and for all. Rather, it's a practice we return to over and over. Some days we glide across the tightrope, and other days we wobble, overcorrect, or tumble right off. What matters is the willingness to climb back up. When we understand what threw us off, we can adjust our footing, prepare for the unexpected, communicate our intentions, and stay connected to the people who steady us. In that way, we give ourselves the best chance to move forward with clarity, compassion, and, naturally, in balance.

Do you have your own remedy that keeps you in balance? Please share.​