When You Feel Like You’re the Only One Trying
When you’re co-parenting, it can sometimes feel like you’re carrying the whole load on your own.
You want your kids to have boundaries.
You want routines, structure, and safety.
You’re picking up the emotional labor, validating feelings, being the steady one, and keeping the peace.
You’re trying to communicate with your co-parent.
But let’s be real: it can feel like you’re the only one trying. And it’s exhausting.
Here’s the truth that’s both frustrating and freeing: You can’t control other people.
One of my favorite reminders I’ve learned on my own parenting journey is this, “All of me with me. All of them with them.”
It’s a powerful mantra in co-parenting, especially when you’re doing the heavy lifting. It’s not easy to accept, but learning to separate what you can control from what you can’t is a game-changer.
And here’s the beautiful part… you still have the power to create stability, peace, and connection in your home. Even if your co-parent doesn’t mirror your approach, your actions matter. A lot.
So how do you start building that safe, steady environment? Here are a few simple shifts that can make a BIG impact.
✔️ Start Weekly Family Meetings
Set aside 15 minutes once a week to connect with your kids. Use this time to:
Preview the week (especially if your child is transitioning between homes).
Talk about responsibilities, chores, and plans together.
Meal plan as a team (which not only helps you but gives your child a voice).
Offer space to check in emotionally: What are they excited about? What’s been hard?
Family meetings aren’t just about logistics, they build connection, confidence, routine, and can reduce your mental load. This is where the C.A.L.M. Family Planner really shines. It gives you a structure that’s simple but powerful, so you’re not making it up as you go.
✔️ Protect Your Quality Time
When you only have your kids part-time, it’s easy for time to slip away. Suddenly weeks pass, and you realize you’ve been surviving, not connecting.
That’s why intentionally planning in family time is so important. Look at the week ahead and ask:
When can we slow down and be together?
Where do I need to say no so I can say yes to us?
Transitions are already tough for kids. Overloading them with activities can add to the emotional strain. Giving them calm and connection in your home helps them regulate and feel secure.
✔️ Create Clear, Compassionate Rules
Maybe your co-parent has no rules. Maybe your child says, “Well at Dad’s house I don’t have to…”
That’s tough… and common.
But your home can still be a place of safety, consistency, and values.
The key? Set boundaries and expectations as a team, with your kids. That’s part of my C.A.L.M. Approach to Parenting©.
Here’s how you can do that:
Choose 3–5 family rules together and talk about why they matter.
Let your child help decide what happens when those rules are broken (natural and logical consequences). Their answers may surprise you.
Be consistent, and kind, in how you enforce them.
Rules aren’t about control. They’re about care.
You might feel like you’re doing this alone. But I promise you, you’re not powerless. You are making a difference.
If you’d like a tool to make this easier, check out the C.A.L.M. Family Planner. It was designed for families just like yours, to create more connection, routine, and peace, no matter what co-parenting looks like.
You’ve got this.
By Angie Weber